"Camp is the perfect place to teach a kid failure."
I sat in a session at the American Camp Association listening to the speaker talk about: How do we create 21st Century Leaders? When he said this I sat there asking myself "why would we want our campers to be failures?" and then I remembered one of the most awkward parent teacher conference moments I have had.
Lily was in fourth grade and we could already see that she was scared of failure, disappointment and may have inherited a pinch of my perfectionism. We sat across from her teacher, seated at the kidney shaped table, all of us in chairs that made our knees come up to our chests talking about our daughter. We got to hear how brilliant she is, a great student, always turning in her work, working at a level beyond her age and we were proud! Then that moment came...you know the one you are thinking about in the car drive on the way to the conference when the teacher turns it around to the parent and asks if we have any questions or needs. Out of nowhere I opened my mouth and said "we need you to give our daughter more opportunities to fail". The teacher looked baffled and her answer was "why would you want that for your child?".
Failure teaches our kids resilience, how to ask for help, perseverance, critical thinking, creativity and helps curb anxiety later in life .When a person is left without the opportunity to fail in the formative years, fear builds up therefore we may not even take risks when given a choice.
So, where do Camp and Failure intersect? Your camper goes to camp without you (unless you are coming to one of our amazing family camp sessions then you can have opportunities to fail together). Campers have opportunities to try new foods, activities and making new friends on their own. There isn't anyone there telling them they can't do it, they are less afraid of letting someone down because they may never see these people again, there is a gaggle of peers cheering them on and trying themselves along with a young adult counselor that right now is counting down the days till they get to spend their summer with your campers!
Campers get to try shooting archery and if they don't get it on the first day or second day or fourth day, when they hit the target (maybe not a bulls-eye but they hit just enough to make the arrow stay in the targets edge) on the last day they may have well won a gold medal in the Olympics! Cheers erupt and your camper all of a sudden forgets that they have tried and failed the last four days. What they remember is that they kept trying, the took encouragement when they failed and got creative about how they could succeed. They talked about how they felt in a safe environment, they set a new goal for themselves each day, they were given opportunities to keep trying (and keep failing). They were empowered!
Don't let the spots for camp fill up and take the chance for your child to miss opportunities for failure. Instead of your child being one of the statistical American youth that spends only 3.5 minutes per day in meaningful conversation, send them to camp where in one week they will have hours upon hours of meaningful conversations, grow in their independence, learn new skills, make new friends, and if they must, they can fail at camp and we will pick them back up and encourage them to keep going!
PS Lily has become a pro at failing-maybe not in her school work but we have found opportunities for her now as a 7th grade girl to fail without shame, humiliation or the ability to keep trying-she goes to camp!
See you this summer!
Janette "Pickle" Kunkel
